Open letter to the minute man

Good evening!

I'm sitting here thinking of the min-ute minute man who climbed ontop of me against my will 2 weeks ago. I should just come out and say it, but those of you who have walked in my shoes will soon figure me out.

He was greasy and gross and poorly endowed.
No woman in her right mind would give him any. Guess that's why he had to catch me off guard and take it from me. The whole shebang probably lasted 1 1/2 minutes. He didn't hit me or cut me or anything, but he did disregard my NOs all the week prior. Then my roommates disregarded my demands to get their greasy, gross, recently outta jail homie offa the couch.
Then Greasy ran to the store and bought "forgive me" drinks and and after we all sang and danced to 70s tunes, he waited for everyone to succumb to his alcoholic-investment, plotting his pathetic entry into my bedroom. Which should have been locked but ---shit--- in my own home??

Moving right along?
My first response was to get over it as soon as possible. The worst part was divulging to my parents. I waited 2 days to tell my Dad, who unleashed an N-bomb laced verbal assault upon me regarding my living conditions. Of course I had to put up with it, while he shlepped my precious possessions in his Suburban into a storage unit. I just wanted to live in a nice pretty place; who the f--- predicts derelict roommates 18 months to come??

No Woman's experience is unique?
In an effort to console me, 3 of my Woman-Friends have dug into their shitty memory vaults & retrieved similar tales; demonstrating to me that this experience is unfortunately, all too common. The local sexual assault counseling center actually has a waiting list, which is why i'm vent-blogging right now. Really "men" - you've let all of us down. I still want to believe in you, but I'll just open my own pickle jars for now.

Worse for the wear
I've always trusted and nurtured others. That's my nature. I pray my encounter with this bastard doesn't rob me of my goodwill to humanking. Then - I'd be just like his ignorant, predatory, never-gonna get anywhere ass.

Good luck finding consenting coitus, 4-inch minuteman.